


Stories of the Second Self: Too Clever By Half

by John_Steiner



Series: Alter Idem [187]
Category: Urban Fantasy - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/John_Steiner/pseuds/John_Steiner
Summary: Two Luc Fae, Carol and Lenard come to an alley at night. Carol expresses her doubts when Lenard explains that he's not a thief despite planning a break in. Asked to be his lookout, Carol waits while Lenard scales up the wall. Lenard claims his ascent won't be visible, to the casual observer. However, that's the casual observer.
Series: Alter Idem [187]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618813





	Stories of the Second Self: Too Clever By Half

"Yeah, there's the way up," Lenard said, sizing up the gray and glass building side at the end of the alley.

Carol walking alongside him, both their hooves clacking on asphalt, and she remarked, "Couldn't just get a job, huh. Had to be a thief."

"What're you talkin' about?" Lenard protested, turning to the fellow Luc Fae and explaining, "This is a job. I'm not a thief, I'm just really good at acquiring things that aren't mine. A thief would keep it, or sell it. I get paid to to make a delivery, you know like Amazon?"

"I don't think they flagrantly broke the law," Carol said, and tilted her head toward the three-point Fae with judgment.

"That's because you never worked there," Lenard retorted, "Besides, you came out here with me. Why bother when you know what I'm about?"

"Make sure you don't break your fool neck," Carol replied, "How're you going to break in anyway?"

"Up top." Lenard pointed at the building's roof. "Locks there are easier to crack because no one expects many break-ins from up top."

"You didn't even bring any climbing gear," Carol noted, sizing up his small packback, as her back-pointed ears subtly twitched.

"I was a free-style rock climber for seven years," Lenard explained.

"That's back when your feet were normal," Carol warned.

"For most of it, yeah," Lenard admitted, "Then I got even better. You know, like mountain goats?"

"So why this way?" Carol asked.

"Obstructed view from the other streets and inside these buildings," Lenard pointed out, "And there's that black building there obscuring almost all the windows on the left there. It's like this block was build for a heist. I just need you to hang out and chill, looking down this road for me."

"What do I do to warn you?" Carol asked.

"Hmm, rattle your keys or something," Lenard seemed to have just popped that off the top of his antlered head.

Carol followed Lenard down the alley, and at the end she leaned against the red-brown wall of the right side building. Lenard got right to it, hopping up onto the first window frame.

True to his claim, "Lenard's hooves gave him no trouble on the lower edge of the frame, but it was Lenard's finger holds that impressed Carol the most. Gone white from the blood being forced out, his fingertips clung to an edge barely an inch wide.

Lenard then threw his right hoof up and caught that same edge. He was sizing up a window on the next floor to his left. Carol's heart skipped a beat when he seemed to impulsively leap.

Yet, much to Carol's surprise, Lenard caught the upper edge of the next window with his fingers, and swung back and forth once before his hooves clicked onto the lower edge. Then, he raised his left hoof onto the upper edge to repeat the process to the third floor and so on.

Once all the way to the top window, Lenard again brought up a hoof, and this time he carefully reared up on his left and with his hands. Then he spider-crawled one hand up to the roof edge. Once he had a secure hold, Lenard practically threw himself up onto the roof and out of sight.

Though, to reassure Carol, Lenard stepped back into view to throw her a thumbs-up gesture and turned around. She thought she heard some tinkering, but it was faint enough that Carol wondered if she only imagined it. She had no idea what a professional thief's trade craft looked like, let alone when security cameras were cheap, small, ubiquitous and, before Alter Idem, could've been monitored from anywhere in the world.

"Excuse me, miss," came a voice that startled her.

"Ohh!" Carol jumped back from the source to see a rather beefy man in police uniform, more than a head taller, looking down at her with flashlight raised, but turned off.

"Can' I ask you what you're doing out here at this hour?" the cop said.

"Uh, waiting for a ride?" Carol sounded as uncertain as she felt, struggling with a quick excuse.

"In this alley, where hardly anyone can see you?" The cop didn't seem convinced. "Can I see your ID?"

"Um, well, I'm worried about stalkers," Carol elaborated, though she was sure that didn't sound convincing.

"So, do you have your ID?" The cop tried again.

"I'd rather you didn't," Carol firmed up her front.

"Given the suspicious location and time you chose to be here I have probably cause to ask," the cop stated.

"Okay," Carol accepted, looking down in defeat as she pulled out her wallet and removed her identification. "See?"

"And your BPS card, please," the cop softly added.

Carol flipped through her cards until finding her Bureau of Pentacaste Affairs card and slid it out for the cop's inspection.

"So when did you expect to get picked up?" the cop inquired.

Trying to avoid eye contact, Carol focused on his badge. Yet, that made her more nervous, so she shifted attention to his name tag, 'Sr. Patrolman Cole Chaney.'

Then, Carol heard scraping from the top of the roof Lenard had ascended. His backpack seemed fuller than when he went up, but of course Officer Chaney noticed too.

"Sir, get down here now." Chaney's voice turned to cold steel.

"Shit." was the word Carol barely made out from Lenard.

"Shit's right," Chaney affirmed, and pointed at the ground. "Get down here now or I'll come up and get you."

Lenard's crafty climbing skills looked less refined on the way down. Granted, Carol considered that to be from reluctance. Lenard dropped down from the second floor window and landed as though about to take a bow.

"Yes officer, what's the problem?" Lenard sounded cool and relaxed.

"ID and BPS card," Officer Chaney demanding, his right hand clasping his utility belt very near the taser on his left side.

"You know, I left that at home," Lenard said dismissively.

"Pull that pack off and open it," Officer Chaney ordered.

Lenard's brow went up and down a couple times, and his head tilted ever so slightly away. Carol furrowed her brow and gave a slight head shake.

"He's signaling to you," Officer Chaney announced, "that you both should just bolt and hope to get away," and then looked Lenard square in the eye. "It's my leg day, so you try your luck, Spanky. See if I don't catch you. So, how 'bout you just tell me why you two are really out here, or I can just Mirandize you and get answers from Lock Up."

Lenard's face signaled that he accepted it was all over.


End file.
